Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
