in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
