New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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