Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
