Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
