idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
