Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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