is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
where am i from again
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
