Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
