Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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