No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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