...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
