okay pat passed out under dana's car
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
