Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
