oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
