He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
