it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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