No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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