Sponge bath it is.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
