He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i believe in u and ur pee
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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