Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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