apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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