this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
