hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
