I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
