You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
