i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
