Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
