just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
