I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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