We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
