Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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