I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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