i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
