Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
