does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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