I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
