the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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