so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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