Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
