Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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