My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
