Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
