Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
