just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
How external is "for external use only"?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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