so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
then he tried to convert me to islam
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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