I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
