dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
