Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
