I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
