I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
