Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
