also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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